Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Bright Light

Floral pinafore dress and turtleneck top: thrifted | Ashton Brogues: Tutum Shop | Bag: Borrowed from my sister | Beret: from an online shop

I managed to salvage these photos. The lighting looked awful in my camera because we shot this at an unholy hour in the early afternoon. Surprisingly, I liked the hazy and overexposed effect. 

It's so nice to finally have a semblance of my old routine back. The first week after giving birth, my inner control freak was miserable because of how erratic our schedule was. Although we're still short on sleep and we're far from having our old schedule back, we have managed to establish a routine so my control freak tendencies were temporarily mollified. 

Blogging helps me stay sane during these chaotic times (and one gummy smile from my baby, of course). I'm so glad I didn't quit this blog, even though I've been tempted to do so many times in the past. I'm also thankful to all of you, my blogger friends, who welcome me back every single time and seem to be genuinely happy that I'm posting again. You can't imagine how great that feels. 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Changes, Changes, Changes

Me blogging again is no easy feat. In between the blur that is feeding, diaper changing, snuggling and juggling work life and mom duties, there's pretty much only enough room to pee and take a bath. Not to be mistaken as whining though. Motherhood may be a tough job but it has rewarded me in ways nothing else has. For instance, when I'm up at 3:00 in the morning, feeding the baby and lamenting the fact that I'm once again going to function throughout the day like a zombie, my baby gazes up at me with drowsy eyes and throws me off-kilter with a brief, bedimpled, gummy smile, I melt into a puddle and fall into her baby trap. It feels great to be needed.

And then there are the trying days - the days when you second guess all your decisions knowing that it's going to affect your little one, the days when your feelings of ineptitude are confounded by the opinions of the people around you.

If you have plans of being a parent someday, be prepared for unsolicited advice, even from people you barely know. Just yesterday, my husband and I were dining at a restaurant we frequent, baby in tow, when a waitress approached us. She thought her one year of experience in the motherhood department holds enough weight for her to admonish the husband about how he's carrying the baby. Oblivious to my curt replies, she proceeded to chastise me about drinking cold beverage so shortly after giving birth. Never mind that we got the go signal from my doctor, you know, the actual expert in this matter, because the old wives' tale of what not to eat and what not to do are too deeply ingrained in our culture to ignore.

Don't get me started on the many times I was asked if I'm breastfeeding and that I should, without question, breastfeed because it's the best for my baby. As if I don't know that already. As if I live under a rock and hasn't seen every formula commercial saying breastmilk is still best for babies. I know they mean well but this reminded me of what Jessica Alba said before - that parenting is the easiest thing to have an opinion on, but the hardest thing to do.

That is also not to mention the many post-pregnancy practices we have here that are borderline ridiculous. Don't eat citrus fruits. Don't wring out your baby's clothes or she will become a grunty baby. I mean, in what dimension is that actually a reality?

I don't claim to know it all. In fact, even if I spend all day googling things that I'm not sure of, parenting is still going to be a process of self-doubt. But day by day, as I learn what makes my baby content, I gain confidence. It's a learning process where I stick with my instincts and trust my judgments. 

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