Where I live, there's a myth that when the day is both rainy and sunny, there are dwarves (sometimes even half-horse and half-human creatures) getting married. There must have been an army of mythical creatures getting hitched today because the weather was crazy bipolar. It was drizzling a little bit but the temperature was hot enough to warrant two cones of ice cream, two bottles of drinking water, sandals, and a bustier dress.
This is my idea of easy dressing. You've seen this plaid dress already but this is the only thing I felt like wearing today. You know. Women and PMS. Urgh. I know. Too. Much. Information. I fail as a responsible blogger. lol!
About the title. You know how sometimes you are surrounded with people (sometimes with friends) and you are stuck in one corner, feeling terribly alienated, unable to fit in and relate? That kind of feeling has been niggling at the pit of my gut for days.
I avidly follow a local blogger named Regina (who I really admire because of her writing chops) and she recently came up with a short post that goes like this: Manila is a city of too many casual acquaintances and not nearly enough friends. It’s lonely. How do you even begin to create something meaningful here?
It struck close to home.
A lot of people I know add me up on Facebook but I end up ignoring their requests. Recently, I filtered my posts to only show to my closest friends. Yes, the ones I frequently communicate with and not just the farce of Facebook friendship. I had to linger on some of the names because I used to be close to them but not anymore and I had no idea how to categorize them in my life. Are they still friends? Or have they been reduced to acquaintances?
Like what Regina said, it's lonely. But you know what? It's revealing. At least you get to figure out which friends are really for keeps. You get to figure out that it's okay to have a falling out with some of the people you were close to in the past.
I talked to a very close friend of mine about this today and realized, hey, I have someone. She feels this too and agrees wholeheartedly. And then I didn't feel so alone anymore (misery loves company, I know!). I always have Myk but there are things only girl friends can lament over.
People change. That's something that remains constant. But no longer will I bludgeon my head and torture myself with the idea of clinging on to past memories and forcing myself to be friends with people who don't, in truth, have any desire to play a significant role in my life.
God that was a load off of my chest! I'm glad I did this post.Who knew it will take one blog post and one chat with a close friend to set me to rights?