Saturday, May 11, 2013

Got Used To Being Alienated


















































































Where I live, there's a myth that when the day is both rainy and sunny, there are dwarves (sometimes even half-horse and half-human creatures) getting married. There must have been an army of mythical creatures getting hitched today because the weather was crazy bipolar. It was drizzling a little bit but the temperature was hot enough to warrant two cones of ice cream, two bottles of drinking water, sandals, and a bustier dress.

This is my idea of easy dressing. You've seen this plaid dress already but this is the only thing I felt like wearing today. You know. Women and PMS. Urgh. I know. Too. Much. Information. I fail as a responsible blogger. lol!

Moving on...

About the title. You know how sometimes you are surrounded with people (sometimes with friends) and you are stuck in one corner, feeling terribly alienated, unable to fit in and relate? That kind of feeling has been niggling at the pit of my gut for days. 

I avidly follow a local blogger named Regina (who I really admire because of her writing chops) and she recently came up with a short post that goes like this: Manila is a city of too many casual acquaintances and not nearly enough friends. It’s lonely. How do you even begin to create something meaningful here?

It struck close to home.

A lot of people I know add me up on Facebook but I end up ignoring their requests. Recently, I filtered my posts to only show to my closest friends. Yes, the ones I frequently communicate with and not just the farce of Facebook friendship. I had to linger on some of the names because I used to be close to them but not anymore and I had no idea how to categorize them in my life. Are they still friends? Or have they been reduced to acquaintances?

Like what Regina said, it's lonely. But you know what? It's revealing. At least you get to figure out which friends are really for keeps. You get to figure out that it's okay to have a falling out with some of the people you were close to in the past.

I talked to a very close friend of mine about this today and realized, hey, I have someone. She feels this too and agrees wholeheartedly. And then I didn't feel so alone anymore (misery loves company, I know!). I always have Myk but there are things only girl friends can lament over.

People change. That's something that remains constant. But no longer will I bludgeon my head and torture myself with the idea of clinging on to past memories and forcing myself to be friends with people who don't, in truth, have any desire to play a significant role in my life.

God that was a load off of my chest! I'm glad I did this post.Who knew it will take one blog post and one chat with a close friend to set me to rights?


16 comments :

  1. First of all, I love love love that plaid dress, and it looks darling on you! I understand what you mean about not knowing where you stand with friends, or clinging onto memories of people you were once friends with. Growing up is weird, and so is growing apart from people. Surrounding yourself with people who actually want to be around you is one of the healthiest things you can do, and that's been one of the hardest things for me, but it's also been one of the best decisions I could make.

    xox Sammi
    www.thesoubrettebrunette.blogspot.com

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    1. thanks Sammi! I always feel hurt whenever old friends no longer call and no longer want to hang out with me but its so true. Sometimes people just grow apart. It just took me some time to accept it.

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  2. cute dress! :))

    http://japobsganbare.blogspot.com/

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  3. Aaw, bless you! I only have a couple of friends and I'm happy with that. I don't need to surround myself with loads of people.

    Becky
    xx

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    Replies
    1. thanks Becky! So true. I'd rather have just one true friend that a bunch of friends who won't be there for me when I need them.

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  4. You look so pretty and your dress is adorable!

    I feel like that sometimes but I'm happy with my very small group of friends. I'd rather surround myself with the few that I know I can trust fully and share my life with :)

    Carmen Ri.

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    1. Thanks Carmen! I totally agree. I'm so glad the coolest people I know (like you) feels the same way and goes through the same things. Now I don't feel so friendless. hehe.

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  5. It took me a long time to understand that with friends, and most things in life, it's all about quality rather than quantity. It's hard to come to terms with but once you do you become such a happier and better person because of it; focus on the people who care that than those you wish cared :) And your dress is adorable, by the way Kathy <3

    Cassie
    thriftthick.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Cassie! I really have to keep your words in mind because there are really some people I wish cared. It hurts that they no longer do. But you are soo right. I have to focus on people who are really there for me when I need them. And I'm so happy I get to meet bloggers like you who are actually sincere in communicating with me. >.< <3

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  6. I am going through the complete the same thing as you!! But I only have a few more weeks left of school until I finish forever so I'm just thinking to myself "not long now until I can have a complete fresh start" which is quite nice. But I have been through it before in the past and I know what you mean. You really discover who your closest friends are!

    Francesca xo
    www.yummylikecake.blogspot.co.uk

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  7. you look so cute dear! and pretty dress!

    prillamie

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  8. oh, how i want that ice cream in your hand! what the blogger said, i totally get too and i feel that way a lot about my area as well. when changes/time come along, you really see who is a true friend/who isn't. growing up brings so much of this, it's hard sometimes!

    lindsey louise

    hellomrrabbitblog.com

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  9. You look really pretty!
    Love your beautiful dress :)
    xoxo

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