Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Smells Like Fall Spirit

Some genius once said indifference cuts deeper than outright anger or scorn; that it wreaks more havoc, does more emotional damage than when someone shouts at your face or hurts you physically. I never really completely understood why until lately. 

When you are unconsciously made to feel invisible, you lose part of your self-esteem and your self-worth. On the surface, you feel angry. But in reality, deep down inside, when you have fully assessed how you feel, you are, in essence, hurt. Not angry. Hurt. There's an enormous difference. 

Hurt because you realize you are not as important and as indispensable as you once thought. Hurt because you are confused. Hurt because you realize you have been trying to hold on to things that are no longer there.

And I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of feeling insignificant, tired of hiding the hurt. 

Right now I'm accepting the fact that this is my reality. I'll give myself a moment to wallow in self-pity and then soldier up and move on.

And today, I mustered up the courage to let go of this baggage and focus on being happy. Happy with Myk, happy with the people who genuinely cares. The world has too many mentally unstable people already without me adding up to it.

That last photo is a gratuitous addition, taken from our innumerable outtakes, to an already extensive jpeg vomit, that will serve as a symbol of my impending emotional rebirth. lol! And to remind people that despite my penchant for melodramatic posts, I'm still a dorky kidult inside who loves to wear socks with her brogues. God I have mad love for long sentences! kekeke~

PS: I love skorts so much. Unlike skirts, I don't have to worry about fashion mishaps. 
PPS: I thrifted this Lanvin envelope bag a year ago. Back then, I didn't realize I snagged a Lanvin creation. A dollar for an authentic Lanvin bag. Can you believe it?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Why? Well, Why Not?

I've been waiting for the perfect weather to wear this woolen sweater dress for the longest time. I turn green with envy every time I see bloggers from the west post photos of themselves in cute and cozy jumpers and knits. Although the "-ber" months have already clocked in (which signifies the start of the cooler weather where I live), it's still as hot as Hades. I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. Like I said, I'm never going to complain about our predominantly summery weather again - not after the simultaneous floods and typhoons we've had in the monsoon season. 

This outfit draws inspiration from Kara's Goo Hara's Lacoste Live! F/W 2012 campaign. I absolutely adore the preppy and sporty vibe of their lookbook. And just in case you were wondering, that's a toy camera fan. I saw it while buying washi tapes and I thought I need it in my life. It was a life saver.

I planned a serene and charming weekend and that's what I got so my spirit is content. What about you guys?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

When In Doubt, Blog

Saturdays are sacred. No matter how busy life gets or how tedious things become, Myk and I always make it a point to go out, catch a movie, pig out and take photos. But the best thing about Saturdays is that I get to have long conversations with Myk, conversations that always have a tinge of emotional unloading, whining and self-realizations. Myk's not just my boyfriend and best friend sometimes. He's also my shrink, albeit a cost-free one. 

I was in a contemplative mood earlier and asked Myk why I'm such a push-over sometimes. Or why I make it a point to ask people how they are, if they're feeling okay or if they need someone to talk to but seldom gets it in return. How, in retrospect, I'm seldom asked how I'm feeling, if everything's going on smoothly in my life or if there's any emotional turmoil I'm going through. I wonder why I have acquired the habit of putting everything and everyone above my own feelings just because I don't like to bother people with my own problems.

Sometimes, I wonder if it's my own doing, making myself look cheerful and putting on a brave face all the time that people don't feel the need to offer their shoulder to cry on.

Who I am now is the complete antithesis of who I was 10 years ago. The strain of responsibility and the culture shock of adulthood made me a different person. I'm just thankful I have people like Myk around me who keeps me tethered to my sanity and propels me forward, thankful that no matter how people come and go in my life sometimes, how I become dispensable to others, there are always people who remain constant. 

Sudden photo of a goat just to stop me from tearing up while writing this. lol! A couple of baby goats, I believe they're called kids, kept leaping at us while taking photos, that for a moment I thought they were feral. lol! Do goats even become feral?

Sorry for the melodrama. Life has been hectic and taxing these days that I refuse to allow this blog to be boxed into the 'fashion blogging only' category. A girl needs an outlet for her endless supply of feels, you know.

But anyway, moving on...

Donned yet again another preppy ensemble. I hope you're not bored with it yet because I certainly haven't exhausted my preppy get-ups, meaning there's more to come. And I got myself a new leather rucksack. Nothing like thrifting to keep my spirit up. 

So what have you guys been up to? If you feel like ranting about your own emotional woes, I have a deep threshold for that. I'll be your agony aunt!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Reality Doesn't Have To Bite

Contrary to popular belief, I don't spend so much time editing my photos, trying to make my skin look flawless or trying to look prettier. I post process my photos using a special action, yes, but that's about it. Any regular photo blogger would do the same. 

But my innumerable flaws, scars, even moles are pretty much invisible under soft lighting. And I'm endlessly lucky to have a good camera with a good lens that takes in a lot of light. We normally take photos at noon under shaded areas for diffused lighting. Sometimes, we take photos at around 5 in the afternoon when the sun is about to set and it bathes my photos with warm lighting that makes my skin glow. 

It also helps that my boyfriend has the patience of a Vietnamese sniper. He listens to my instructions and doesn't mind if I say "one more" over and over again even though only a few of those photos will make it in this blog.

I'm not being pretentious by making myself appear prettier in photos. It's not like I elongate my legs or make my nose narrower or make my arms slimmer. I don't do that. It's just a matter of getting the right angle, taking tons of photos, filtering out the best ones and showcasing the ones that will show you in the best light. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing. 

I even, occasionally, post outtakes like this! 

So if you're disappointed that I don't look as pretty or as flawless in real life, well, I'm not going to say sorry.  I don't go out of my way to hide my flaws, to cover them up in mounds of make-up. I'll keep on wearing skirts even with my heavily flawed and short legs. I'll keep on taking photos even if not all of them comes out pretty. Because it makes me happy and because I stopped listening to people whose only goal in this world is to find fault in other people.

PS: Got this Dolce and Gabbana button down fruit print shirt from the thrift store a few days ago. Score!

PPS: I recently got an instagram account. Follow me?

Friday, October 12, 2012

Current Obsession: Varsity/Preppy Sweaters


My obsession with Running Man and letterman jackets started a year ago. Almost all the members wore it in every episode until the staff provided them with uniform letterman jackets per team in every episode. I've been on the hunt for a cutesy letterman jacket for the longest time. I imagined pairing it up with a feminine frock - something with tulle and laces. 

But like what I said in my previous post, you can't find anything in my town and I didn't like the idea of having a jacket custom-made for me simply because it came with a hefty price tag. I still wanted a pair though and was just waiting for the right piece - until letterman jackets popped up in every department store in town. After that, it seems like every member of a posse or a dance troupe has a letterman jacket draped over their shoulders. Suddenly, it doesn't seem quite as attractive anymore. 

And then came the varsity sweaters. Big, chunky, knitted sweaters characterized by a monogram or a crest. It resurrected my love for varsity preppy (especially when SNSD released their 'Oh' Japanese version music video).

So that's the long and winding story behind this outfit. It was actually assembled last minute in my haste to meet the boyfriend. Never mind that it's not that cold where I live and that my bangs became a cesspool of sweat.

This ensemble also has a tinge of Marc by Marc Jacobs F/W 2012 influence in it. I know I said before that I don't really pay much attention to runway looks. But because of my current job, I need to be on my toes, following one fashion label after another. 

A year ago, there's no way I can distinguish the difference between Marc Jacobs and their eponymous line, Marc by Marc Jacobs or Valentino and RED Valentino. I didn't know I have managed to thrift genuine Nina Ricci purse, Lanvin envelope bag and Dolce and Gabbana fruit print button down top until I started checking out the labels of my thrift finds. 

Now I can spot Marni and Rodarte, Nicholas Kirkwood and Versace, Family Affair and Kate Spade, Chanel and Hermes. Now I know that Charlotte Olympia makes quirky shoes and bags and Jeffrey Campbell once trained as a shoe maker in Marikina. 

The fashion industry is both fascinating and overwhelming. Fascinating because of the creativity that slaps you on the face, both understated and ostentatious. Overwhelming because I have scarcely kept up with Fall/Winter 2012 fashion and September clocked in with Spring/Summer Resort 2013 collection. It's hectic. No wonder Anna Wintour keeps her hair short. With all that runway hopping, that is the most sensible hair cut to sport. But what do I know? This alternate reality is waay beyond my reach.

On top of that, I also have to keep track of Asian fashion for my personal little project that is currently doing great. It's been a blur and most of the time I can hardly keep up. But at the end of the day, I still go back to my true loves - retro/preppy/60's/mod/90's eclectic mix and romantic vintage. I still find peace in my reality - thrifting. I still love dressing up either like a grandma or like a 12-year old. I find comfort in that.

Saturday, October 6, 2012


Can someone knock me on the head whenever I complain about the endless lull of my life? Yes, you have my permission.

This week has been both eventful and stressful. And me, control freak extraordinaire, tends to feel a little shaken up when things start happening. And to start getting some of my ground back, I made an effort to squeeze in an outfit shoot this weekend.

I originally wanted to get a yellow bustier top to go with this skirt. But in my sleepy town, you can't find crap (not even a pair of bloomers or tights in sight!). And in my perpetual state of brokeness (lol is this even a word?), I find myself shying away from shipping costs.

Anyway, hello to all of you reading this blog. This post should prove that it's still alive and kicking!

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