Saturday, July 28, 2012

Be Yourself...Not

One of the advices I have stopped dispensing and taking is "be yourself". I've had people in the past tell me, whenever I wear something different or wear something totally uncharacteristic, that I don't look at all like the "real" me, as if they're an excellent judge of that.

I've had people I knew and was acquainted with in school tell me I grew fatter or prettier or less talkative or more guarded and say that I'm not the girl they once knew as if that is a crime punishable by death, as if I should be stoned because of changing.

Last time someone threw this advice on my face, my brain literally went on an excursion. I was baffled by how deep the advice went and how many questions surfaced because of it. But ultimately, it made me ask myself: "who is the real me anyway?". 

Is the real me the girl who likes dawns and dusks and spends most of her free time reading? Is the real me the girl who loves cooking and cleaning but hates doing the laundy? Is the real me the girl who shies away from strangers and giggles a lot when with friends? Is the real me the one who doesn't mind wearing holey and threadbare clothes indoors? Is the real me the self-critical virago or the all-accepting friend?

Is the real me the one I show to virtual strangers - calm, aloof, detached and chronically unimpressed? Or is the real me the one I show to my family, my boyfriend and my friends - a constant nag, cares too little too much, sensitive, relaxed and opinionated?

The thing is, to "be yourself" is an advice one can never accurately follow. Even if you attempt to, you'll easily find yourself lost in translation. That's because we have different facets, adapting personalities, different reactions to different things that make up our multi-dimensional character. We're not supposed to be one-note like Bella Swan, for instance, who can only pull off a perpetually bored face and care only about Edward and Jacob in 4 books.

We're supposed to grow and assimilate things. We're supposed to have phases and outgrow them. We're supposed to be occasionally weird and have our moments when we go astray from the staid and the normal. That's what life and living is - a long moment of discovery. 

You can't gauge a person's entirety and who he/she is by what he/she has shown you in a fleeting party introduction. You can't say a girl is not being herself when she is trying to look like Alexa Chung or Lady Gaga on a whim.

There's always that moment when you surprise yourself, unearth something new, and realize that this is where you belong. That the world you thought you fit right in is a world you can no longer relate to. That the people who you used to rub shoulders with no longer has something in common with you. 

That's not a bad thing. You shouldn't feel bad because you have become different. You shouldn't let others make you feel bad because you're no longer that simpering girl they can intimidate. 

You're still yourself, adapting to the constant change, testing the waters, finding the things that excite you - no matter what age you are. So don't berate yourself when people tell you "you're not being yourself". They just don't know what "being yourself" really means. And now that you do, you should revel in it. Let it happen. Absorb it in the marrows of your bones, the molecules of your DNA and wear it like a badge of pride because there's nothing more tragic than letting years go by without letting vital things like change and growth happen.


  1. very inspiring post! :)))
    and i love what you're wearing too!


    1. Thanks Rae!I have a problem leaving a comment on your blog. I wonder why.

  2. love everything!

    Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (

  3. Hi Kathy, you are so cute here! (cute as you always been)
    Just be yourself dear, people may judge you but no one knows yourself better than you do. Just keep in mind not to change yourself based on people's perception. Do whatever you think suit you best!

    wish you a great day!
    La Petite Chateau

    1. Thank you Kalyana! That's so true. Just go with the flow and see where it leads you. <3

  4. Adorable outfit, as always!! Looks super comfy too, I wish I could wear a little sun dress like that (pulls a little hoochie on my figure though haha)!

    And the text in this post really hit home with me as well; as I've been packing up my life to move out East I've found so many things that I've forgotten about or decided that I've only kept it because of wanting to impress or satisfy others and their impressions of "me". Throwing lots of things away and keeping what is truly precious has been very liberating and it makes me excited to have the opportunity to start fresh in a city where I don't know a single soul.


    1. so nice of you to share that tidbit about yourself Cassie. It must be pretty scary to live in a city where you don't know anyone, but exciting too because you are starting over, reinventing yourself and learning new stuff. Good luck on this. Hope everything turns out well for you. :)

    2. Thank you Kathy, I hope the move goes well as well!! It'll be something completely new, amazing, and terrifying all at the same time.
      I hope all is well with you as well :)


  5. Great blog. Interesting notes and the very nice appearance. ;p
    I wish you the nice weekend. ;)
    I am also inviting to my blog:
    I am greeting. Patricja!! ^.^

    1. Thanks Patricja! The spelling of your name is very unique. :)

  6. What an interesting post. You have some really great thoughts there.

    You look adorable, too!


  7. I love the tone of your photography :)
    and of course your cute dress and that hat ..
    so lovely .

  8. This is so true. It's difficult to "label" us sometimes (determining, consequentially, who is the real us) and let's face it, why should we do something that stupid? Because labelling ourselves would only mean to cancel all the things we are and that don't belong to that label.
    Anyway, you look adorable :) that little dress and the cute hat look amazing together.
    Life is a romantic poem

  9. Super cute dress!
    Loving it :)


  10. That dress is adorable! and you paired it perfectly with that hat! You look great.

  11. great thoughts dear <3 i agree with you. btw i love your dotted dress and your hat! totally adorable!

  12. you look so super cute! love your photos and how smiley you are :)

    Drawing Dreaming



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