Thursday, February 4, 2016

Through the Blur

turtleneck top, dress, beret: thrifted | shoes: Something Borrowed 

If your level of busyness is indicative of how successful you are, then I am CEO levels of successful. Man, my life is full of this and that. People seem to think that just because I work from home, I have it going easy. But no. I earn my own keep and take care of my family at the same time and it's taking a toll on me - physically, at least. It has come to a point that on my birthday, I wished for 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep instead of new things (I might have wished for extra pairs of limbs too but I'll bite my tongue). 

But with the lows come the highs. I'm all about balance, you see. I took some time off last Monday to buy food for Olivia's 2nd month celebration and sneaked this outfit shoot. I wore this only for a little less than three hours! ha! But it's a good feeling, although I've been swamped with guilt the entire time. Has any of you moms ever felt like you don't have a right to be out and about when your baby is left at home (with a sitter, of course!)? Or is that just me? Haha!

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Bright Light

Floral pinafore dress and turtleneck top: thrifted | Ashton Brogues: Tutum Shop | Bag: Borrowed from my sister | Beret: from an online shop

I managed to salvage these photos. The lighting looked awful in my camera because we shot this at an unholy hour in the early afternoon. Surprisingly, I liked the hazy and overexposed effect. 

It's so nice to finally have a semblance of my old routine back. The first week after giving birth, my inner control freak was miserable because of how erratic our schedule was. Although we're still short on sleep and we're far from having our old schedule back, we have managed to establish a routine so my control freak tendencies were temporarily mollified. 

Blogging helps me stay sane during these chaotic times (and one gummy smile from my baby, of course). I'm so glad I didn't quit this blog, even though I've been tempted to do so many times in the past. I'm also thankful to all of you, my blogger friends, who welcome me back every single time and seem to be genuinely happy that I'm posting again. You can't imagine how great that feels. 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Changes, Changes, Changes

Me blogging again is no easy feat. In between the blur that is feeding, diaper changing, snuggling and juggling work life and mom duties, there's pretty much only enough room to pee and take a bath. Not to be mistaken as whining though. Motherhood may be a tough job but it has rewarded me in ways nothing else has. For instance, when I'm up at 3:00 in the morning, feeding the baby and lamenting the fact that I'm once again going to function throughout the day like a zombie, my baby gazes up at me with drowsy eyes and throws me off-kilter with a brief, bedimpled, gummy smile, I melt into a puddle and fall into her baby trap. It feels great to be needed.

And then there are the trying days - the days when you second guess all your decisions knowing that it's going to affect your little one, the days when your feelings of ineptitude are confounded by the opinions of the people around you.

If you have plans of being a parent someday, be prepared for unsolicited advice, even from people you barely know. Just yesterday, my husband and I were dining at a restaurant we frequent, baby in tow, when a waitress approached us. She thought her one year of experience in the motherhood department holds enough weight for her to admonish the husband about how he's carrying the baby. Oblivious to my curt replies, she proceeded to chastise me about drinking cold beverage so shortly after giving birth. Never mind that we got the go signal from my doctor, you know, the actual expert in this matter, because the old wives' tale of what not to eat and what not to do are too deeply ingrained in our culture to ignore.

Don't get me started on the many times I was asked if I'm breastfeeding and that I should, without question, breastfeed because it's the best for my baby. As if I don't know that already. As if I live under a rock and hasn't seen every formula commercial saying breastmilk is still best for babies. I know they mean well but this reminded me of what Jessica Alba said before - that parenting is the easiest thing to have an opinion on, but the hardest thing to do.

That is also not to mention the many post-pregnancy practices we have here that are borderline ridiculous. Don't eat citrus fruits. Don't wring out your baby's clothes or she will become a grunty baby. I mean, in what dimension is that actually a reality?

I don't claim to know it all. In fact, even if I spend all day googling things that I'm not sure of, parenting is still going to be a process of self-doubt. But day by day, as I learn what makes my baby content, I gain confidence. It's a learning process where I stick with my instincts and trust my judgments. 

Friday, October 16, 2015

30 Weeks

Dress: thrifted | shoes: Something Borrowed | hat: bought online | bag:vintage 

These photos were taken during my 30th week of pregnancy. I'm already on my 32nd.  I'm so close to popping this baby out and I'm both thrilled and scared at the same time. 

I've often wondered why it's such a taboo for women to admit they're scared of childbirth. I know so very little women who would claim they were terrified prior to giving birth. In social media, I only see excited pregnant women. 

I, for one, am terrified of the process.  Of course the excitement trumps all feelings of fear but there's no denying it's there. And as I get closer to my due date, that gnawing feeling increases and I can't help but find reassurance from other women who have gone through the same. After all, childbirth is a life or death matter.

On the other hand, we're really looking forward to the next few weeks. Pregnancy has been a revelation to me. It's both an ugly and a beautiful thing.

Although occasionally discomfiting and painful, not to mention restricting, i love feeling the small jabs and kicks. It reminds me that someone so precious is growing inside me and that I'm a vessel for that miracle. It makes me complain about engorged body parts, back pain and edema less. This baby can use my body all it wants so long as it arrives healthy and happy.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Where Did Everyone Go?

thrifted gingham dress | Something Borrowed Triple Strap Mary Janes from | vintage bag

I just noticed how many of the bloggers I follow and loved earnestly are no longer blogging - their virtual spaces deleted or left to collect virtual dust. There are times when I'm tempted to follow suit, especially these days when pregnancy and work take their toll on me and most likely in the near future when I have my hands full with a newborn.

But blogging is like opium to a druggie. There's no permanency to quitting. And I don't want to leave. Not just yet. Not when the other social media spaces are so full of garbage. Not when every chance you get, you censor yourself before posting because someone might take your words out of context or you'll get hated because you have beliefs that do not conform to the norms. Not when there's not much freedom to be you elsewhere.

Yes, blogging has become overly commercialized and that might be off-putting to the more conservative, to the more strictler to the old ways of blogging. But it's still that place where there's you, your words and your mighty keyboard. You spew words like a knight wielding a sword - valiant and purposeful. And there's freedom to that that can't be taken away from you.

So yes, despite it all, we keep coming back.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Betty Boop Sneakers

top, skirt and sneakers: thrifted || bag : vintage

Hello again blogosphere! So excited to share to you these photos. I really just love gingham and I'm so ecstatic that they're all the rage these days (D&G, Michael Kors, and so on). I mean, they've been pretty much popular with vintage and retro lovers out there but since they're going mainstream these days, people won't tease me for wearing a checkerboard ever again. lol. I own a looott of gingham clothes. My eyes tend to gravitate towards them when I go thrifting. 

How cute are these sneakers, by the way? It has a Betty Boop print and lips embroidery on it. These could easily turn into my favorite white sneakers.

Pregnancy, so far, has been good to me. I was expecting morning/afternoon sickness all day, everyday but so far it's not. I still have whole day bouts of illness sometimes despite being in my second trimester already. 

I can still fit in my high-waisted stuff, except the pants and shorts. I'm scrambling to use these clothes before my tummy gets bigger. So excited for the next few months but scared at the same time. 

Anyway, hope you all are having a great weekend!

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Baby On The Way!

Long time no blog! Real life got in the way. It turned out it's raining blessings for me this year as my husband and I found out just a few weeks ago that we're soon going to be parents. I'm about 15 weeks far along now and I'm relishing these last few weeks of being able to fit in my dresses so here I am, a new outfit post. 

Excuse my rather exhausted face in these photos. The day was so hot and we had to wake up early to decorate my aunt's wedding venue. Also, my first trimester is physically draining. The whole day sickness, the chronic fatigue and the little aches and pains can really put a damper to my spirit. I'm just about starting to recover some of my old energy back as I'm sashaying into my second trimester. There was also a small problem with my health that I fretted and worried over for a couple of weeks until the doctor assured me, it's not going to affect the growth of my baby. What a relief!

I really hope I can share more outfit photos in the future, growing tummy and all. 

Anyhow, I hope you are all having a grand weekend!


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